Sometimes (October 22, 2019)

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I rarely wish away what I’ve gone through
rarely say “it would be easier if it never happened”
rarely focus on the bad instead of the good
but 
sometimes I wish
wish I didn’t see the world 
through cracked lenses
wish I wouldn’t see your tears and know exactly the pain you are feeling because
Me Too
wish I could go to sleep without you preying on my dreams 
I won’t admit this
I won’t tell anyone except his paper that sometimes I don’t want to be the resilient girl 
the girl who smiles when her world is crashing around her
slowly burning 
but 
I am the phoenix 
I rise 
I stand 
and I move forward
but 
sometimes I wish
and sometimes I dream –
awake – 
away from you 

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