Sometimes (October 22, 2019)

I rarely wish away what I’ve gone through

rarely say “it would be easier if it never happened”

rarely focus on the bad instead of the good

but 

sometimes I wish

wish I didn’t see the world 

through cracked lenses

wish I wouldn’t see your tears and know exactly the pain you are feeling because

Me Too

wish I could go to sleep without you preying on my dreams 

I won’t admit this

I won’t tell anyone except his paper that sometimes I don’t want to be the resilient girl 

the girl who smiles when her world is crashing around her

slowly burning 

but 

I am the phoenix 

I rise 

I stand 

and I move forward

but 

sometimes I wish

and sometimes I dream –

awake – 

away from you